The Vibe of Hosea

There’s a hurting vibe that runs right through Hosea. This is the stuff that country and western songs are made of. Hosea finds him a woman but she finds herself another man. But even though he’s hurting, he takes her back and keeps on loving her. The vibe is that this is a metaphor for the love God has for his people and how he feels when they turn away from him. And mama, have they turned away from him. The people are worshipping pagan gods and are turning to foreign rulers for help rather than God. The vibe is deep into the red and Hosea can see that if people don’t turn back to God, his wrath will fall upon them like fire in summer wind. The vibes of doom spill from his mouth faster than the people can build pagan idols but no one listens. The inevitable happens, Israel is pretty much swept away by her enemies and all that remains are Hosea’s words, begging the people to turn back to God. God the faithful lover is always waiting with vibes of forgiveness for his wayward woman to come back.

General vibe of Hosea: It’s never too late.

Factvibe: According to the vibe of the Jewish Talmud, Hosea was the greatest prophet of his generation.

Jilting and heartbreak – the bleeding heart vibe of Hosea

The Vibe of Daniel

Daniel has a hardcore, militant, resistance fighting vibe. Despite being dragged off into Babylonian exile with the rest of the Israelites, his refusenik vibe means he won’t eat unclean animals, choosing to go veggie instead. But, like Joseph before him, he has the gift of interpreting dreams, a skill that impresses Babylon’s King Nebuchadnezzar so much that he begins worshipping Daniel’s God immediately.

However, the king soon forgets, erects a golden pillar and orders everyone to worship it or be thrown into a furnace. Daniel and his gang refuse, telling the king that God will save them from the fire which, fortunately he does. Now doubly impressed, the king worships God again, only to go insane.

His son Balthazzar is a wayward child and during a feast when he and his buddies are getting drunk using silverware from the Temple, mysterious writing appears on a nearby wall. Daniel interprets it as quite literally the writing on the wall for Babylon and, days later, Darius conquers Babylon for Persia.

Darius understands Daniel’s vibe and promotes him until he is one of the big kahunas at the royal court. The vibe wobbles a bit when Darius is tricked into signing an order that everyone has to worship him or be thrown into a pit filled with ravenous lions. He forgets that this means his trusty advisor Daniel might end up as a snack for wild beasts but rules are rules and in Daniel goes. Luckily, the lions know a good man when they see one and the vibe in the den is pretty chilled. End result, Daniel gets out, the new king worships God and Daniel goes on to help secure the release of the Israelites.

The book finishes with some apocalyptic visions of the future where good battles evil and the end vibe is that God is in control of the universe, which is no bad thing.

General vibe of Daniel: It pays to be loyal to God.

Factvibe: Daniel lived to be over 100 years old.

In lion folklore, Daniel is known as ‘the one who got away’

The Vibe of the Valley of the Dry Bones

The Dry Bones have got a foot tapping singalong vibe to them. Ezekiel is taken to a valley which is littered with human bones.

What starts as a bit of a graveyard vibe becomes an all action Academy Award winning special effects extravaganza. Urged on by God, Ezekiel tells the bones to come alive and after lots of loud rattling, the bones join together in anatomically correct fashion. With God in his ear, Ezekiel continues the choreography as sinews, flesh and skin cover the skeletons.

Finally, a divine wind blows breath into the bodies and they get to their feet, a vast army of living people. The vibe is that this is a metaphor – many of the captives in Babylon think that Israel is dead and buried but God is promising to bring the nation back to life. A reassuring vibe with a nice bit of showbiz thrown in.

General vibe of the Valley of the Dry Bones: The kneebone’s connected to the…

Factvibe: The song ‘Dem Bones’ was first written down in 1925.

As graveyard vibes go, it’s an energetic one

The Vibe of Ezekiel

Part of an advanced party of elite Jews to be carted off to Babylon, Ezekiel realises that the ultimate downfall of Israel is inevitable. Despite this, he is roundly ignored and even when he gets into a role play vibe and personally acts out the last days of Israel, nothing changes. As the rest of the Jews are rounded up and led away to Babylon, Ezekiel shakes his fist at the way they have rebelled against God.

There is a symbolic vibe to Ezekiel; the prophet speaks in pictures. Fires, swords, eagles, vines and lions all represent God, Israel and the enemies who hate them. Ezekiel rages at Israel’s neighbours and warns them of their own impending doom, but it’s not all bad vibes. Ezekiel can see far enough ahead to a time when desolate, ruined Israel will be filled with people again, when the Temple will be rebuilt and when God will bring a ‘Son of David’ to look after his people like a good shepherd.

The vibe of Ezekiel is a tough one that warns of terrible events to come. However, there is a cup of cocoa at the end as Ezekiel reminds us that we are all personally responsible for our own happy ever after vibe with God, and assures us that God will make everything OK again.

General vibe of Ezekiel: Don’t give up hope.

Factvibe: The inscription on the Yad Vashem Holocaust memorial in Israel is Ezekiel Chapter 37, verse 14.

Despite the rage, Ezekiel packs a hearty ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ vibe.

The Vibe of Lamentations

The clue’s in the title – Lamentations doesn’t pack the most upbeat of vibes. God’s people have been deported to Babylon, Jerusalem is in ruins and God’s Temple has been destroyed. The writer is mourning the vibe that God has abandoned his people and may not come back.

There really is no light at the end of this vibe

It’s as bleak, desolate and black as the vibe gets in the Old Testament. There is no ray of hope and no light at the end of the tunnel in this book. What’s done is done. Man’s wilfulness and arrogance means God has turned his back on his people and now they’ve been left out with the trash.  This is what rejection feels like and it’s miserable. All the lamenter can do is hope that this isn’t ‘it’ and that it’s not too late for a last minute ‘happy ever after’ reprieve. Still, no breath is being held.

General vibe of Lamentations: Doom and gloom.

Factvibe: In the original, the first line of each verse begins with a new letter of the Hebrew alphabet. This vibe is known as ‘acrostic verse.’

The Vibe of Jeremiah

Jeremiah has a very black and white vibe. The prophet can see disaster coming and he doesn’t care who knows it.

Jeremiah’s message is given an emphatic thumbs down by his fellow Jews, especially when he suggests they buddy up to the hated Babylonians. This is seen as treachery by some and wins Jeremiah the robust dislike of Israel. Despite this, he rages through the reigns of five kings, a lonely zealot preaching a gospel of doom that no one wants to hear.

Dark, gloomy vibes prevail as Jeremiah explains to anyone who will listen that destruction and death are coming their way if they don’t turn back to God. It’s not all bad news: if they do get their God vibe back and admit they’ve messed up, God will save them. Sadly, this doesn’t happen and Jeremiah’s vibes of woe become bona fide, ironclad, a priori fact when Judah is utterly and emphatically laid waste by the Babylonians and the Temple is destroyed.

Jeremiah continues to rant at all the nations whose ends will also be messy, including Babylon. On a more hopeful vibe, Jeremiah looks forward to the time of Jesus when God’s vibes will be written on mens’ hearts, not in a box in a Temple, but it’s all a waste of breath as no one is listening. Fortunately someone wrote it all down and proved Jeremiah right, but that didn’t stop him dying a lonely and unloved old man. A short straw but someone had to pull it.

General vibe of Jeremiah: Woe.

Factvibe: Jeremiah still had enough gloom left in his quill to write the book of Lamentations.

Jeremiah – a bit of a down vibe.

The Vibe of Persia

Persia has a ‘there when you need it’ vibe. A superpower that spans three continents, Persia makes its Bible debut with Darius the Mede whose military success means that the Babylonian Empire becomes Persian.

Filled with the refreshing vibes of religious tolerance, Darius’ son Cyrus allows the captive Jews to return to Israel and rebuild their Temple. An all round good egg, Cyrus also lets them take their treasures with them.

Daniel thrives under Cyrus and his godly vibes possibly influence the king in his decision to let the Jews go home.

It’s not all roses in Persia though, Esther has a close shave when King Xerxes is tricked into ordering the killing of all Jews still living in his kingdom. Fortunately the plucky queen intervenes, the Jews are saved and the vibe remains high for the Persians until they take a beating from Alexander the Great in 334BC and disappear off into history with their tails between their legs.

General vibe of Persia: The not so evil empire.

Factvibe: At its height, Persia’s vibe extended from Egypt as far as India.

After the vibe of conquering and ruling the world came the vibe of rug making.

The Vibe of Babylon

Babylon has a superpower vibe. A hugely successful city, its ruler, Nebuchadnezzar decides that he wants a piece of the Israel-Judah cake. All of it, in fact. Given that Babylon is the most powerful place on Earth at this time, very little can stop the king, his soldiers and horses wreaking vibes of total annihilation on Jerusalem, its Temple and the surrounding country.

By all accounts, Babylon isn’t such a bad place to be and despite the Boney M song, lots of the Jews who are carted off here in exile do pretty well for themselves. Several of the prophets write their vibes of doom in Babylon’s leafy environs and many will no doubt have marveled at the green fingered vibes behind the famous Hanging Gardens.

Babylon’s vibe doesn’t last though: eventually the city falls to the Persians and the Jews are allowed home to rebuild the vibes they left behind in Israel. A bad to good vibe swingometer.

General vibe of Babylon: It’s nice but it’s not home.

Factvibe: All that’s left of Babylon’s vibe is a hump in the ground that can be found near the city of Al Hillah, 55 miles south of Baghdad.

Surprisingly, gardening doesn’t feature much in the vibe of Babylon

The Vibe of Isaiah

Isaiah’s opening vibe is a wagging finger of doom. Death and destruction will come the way of Israel if the people don’t get their act together and repent. However the bitter vibe is sugar coated, all will be well if everyone behaves.

But Isaiah isn’t finished. The vibe of calamity continues with the name checking of all the nations that will invoke the wrath of God but the mood changes when Isaiah hints at a future saviour of the world. Hope vibes abound.

More good vibes follow: the greatness and majesty of God and the mercy, grace and love he will show to all who follow him. There is a powerful redemption vibe in Isaiah and we are promised the wonderful counsellor, the everlasting father and the prince of peace. Isaiah is like the Bible’s grandpa, a lot of growly vibes but lots of hugs too.

General vibe of Isaiah: Be good and the good times will roll.

Factvibe: Chapter 37 of Isaiah is word for word the same as chapter 19 of the second book of Kings. The writer of Kings was the copycat.

Isaiah – gruff but kind, like a grandpa