Monthly Archives: April 2016

The Vibe of the Flood

This rather soggy vibe begins in the earliest days of Creation, by which time God’s people have already decided that doing their own thing is preferable to being obedient to their maker. In a fit of pique, God decides to reverse creation and to take the vibe back to day one, when the Earth was still covered with water. Thankfully for the human race, there is one good man left who God wants to survive the apocalypse: Noah. Noah is instructed to build a giant boat and to load it up with his family, two of every animal and enough food to keep them all going for a long time. The flood is vast. According to the Bible, it rains for forty days and the floodwaters are so deep that the highest mountain is still around twenty feet below the surface. The flood kills every living creature that needs dry land to survive and the earth is covered for 150 days. Eventually the waters start to recede, beaching the Ark on top of a mountain but the land is still completely waterlogged.  After another forty days, Noah opens one of the windows in the Ark and sends out a raven to find dry land. The bird is unsuccessful but eventually a dove fails to return, suggesting that it has found somewhere to make a home. Finally, more than a year after the first rains fell, God orders Noah and his family to leave the Ark and to begin the process of recolonizing the planet. Noah’s first move is to build an altar in honour of the God who has rescued him, and in return, God promises never to destroy his handiwork again. A gloomy vibe that turns out nice in the end.

General vibe of the Flood: Creation reversed

Factvibe: Some archaeologists believe the Flood occurred when melt water from the last Ice Age (10,000BC) flooded the area that is now the Black Sea

Rain Cloud Symbol_tcm31-343767

Forecast: wet

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The Vibe of the Fiery Furnace

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego are three young men born into Jewish nobility and who have the misfortune to be in Jerusalem when King Nebuchadnezzar’s conquering army arrives to defeat the city. Dragged off to Babylon with the rest of Judah’s ruling elite, their vibe improves a little. The men are good looking, smart and quick to learn and are fast tracked to good jobs in the royal household alongside their countryman, Daniel. However, the vibe turns sour when Nebuchadnezzar erects a ninety foot high gold effigy in the desert. The crowds who show up for the statue’s grand unveiling are warned that, if they don’t worship it, they will be thrown into a blazing furnace. Not fancying the vibe of worshipping anyone other than God, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego decide to pass, a move that fast tracks them to a face to face meeting with King Nebuchadnezzar himself. The king is furious and offers the men one last chance to change their minds. They pass again and Nebuchadnezzar is so angry that he orders his guards to make the furnace seven times hotter than usual. In fact the flames are so hot that the guards whose job it is to push the three men to their deaths die of heatstroke themselves. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego fall into the furnace and moments later an astonished Nebuchadnezzar asks onlookers why a) there are four men in the furnace, not three and b) why they are walking round as if nothing is wrong. According to the king, the fourth man in the furnace looks like ‘a son of the gods’, leading to many Christians believing that this is an early appearance of Jesus. Nebuchadnezzar then forbids anyone in his kingdom to say a bad word about the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and gives the three men important jobs in the equivalent of the Babylonian Civil Service.

General vibe of the fiery furnace: very very hot

Factvibe: history doesn’t relate how the men get out of the furnace


Not even these can act as protection from this oven

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